tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90712927598649557012012-01-12T04:42:23.365-06:00Promoting health in the realms of sexuality and relationshipsWelcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.comBlogger2311100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-1361945088064010802012-01-09T00:46:00.002-06:002012-01-09T00:46:43.334-06:00

I’m reminded how much desire and positive energy there is to talk about sexuality. While on vacation in Australia, my friends invited me to present a 45 minute workshop on the new workbook. Based on 1 email list, 26 guys showed up for a conversation about sexual health, and Living A life I Love. The short version, I covered the key of choosing what sexual behavior is most important to you in

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-69419764285617170382011-12-18T22:14:00.000-06:002011-12-18T22:14:10.004-06:00

And finally, the new workbook is available on Kindle at Amazon.

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-44715631174047163572011-12-18T07:32:00.002-06:002011-12-18T07:32:54.431-06:00

...is now available on Amazon as well.

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-66531408203123004902011-12-17T09:32:00.001-06:002011-12-17T09:41:24.705-06:00

The 2nd edition of Living a Life I Love is now available! I've been a bit busy over the past month finishing the editing process for the new edition of Living a Life I Love. The 2nd edition is officially available as of today. Check out the link for more information and to purchase the workbook!

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-55006422375816213792011-11-21T07:37:00.000-06:002011-11-21T07:37:53.377-06:00

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. (Gandhi) A task toward sexual health is to define the values by which you want to live your life. It is done in community/connection with others. The process of clarifying your values, and the behaviors consistent with those values is the experience of discovering your truth. My experience suggests an individual is

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-27379160475168087072011-11-20T18:35:00.000-06:002011-11-20T18:35:46.467-06:00

A friend gave me a copy of David Spangler’s book, “Blessing.” Spangler looks at what blessing means, and how giving or receiving a blessing is such a profound act. For Spangler, blessing is a sharing of spirit. Blessing transcends a specific act and evokes a profound connection. Blessing comes from the depths, and takes us into new depths. Blessing brings us into a fuller relationship with life.

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-16358384956137664742011-11-20T11:14:00.000-06:002011-11-20T11:14:09.770-06:00

Obviously, no one likes to relapse. It often feels like a failure. Rather then emphasize the failure, the process of change can take a relapse and learn from it. When you examine the conditions that occurred in a relapse, you might uncover an unknown issue; or, you might recognize an issue you were avoiding is more important than you previously believed. Similarly, you might recognize you need to

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-30161722842788883002011-11-19T17:44:00.000-06:002011-11-19T17:44:13.219-06:00

Sexual Health Life Coaching addresses sexuality from a wellness approach. Sexual Health Life Coaching is an opportunity to focus integrating sexuality as part of your amazing life. The basic premise I bring to my work is that you are first and foremost a whole person. Yes, you are a person whose sexuality is sacred. In the area of sexuality, rarely do we start from the place of sacredness of

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-24185106668702266452011-10-23T10:43:00.001-05:002011-10-23T19:00:15.744-05:00

I’ve been working toward completing my certificate as a life coach. One image to describe a Life Coach is childhood game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Life Coaching as a Lever Using a lever at the right place with the right amount of energy is how a person can move a heavy object. A lever actually magnifies the power of the user. Life coaching is a tool to leverage your own energy leading to

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-51131156746132240152011-10-22T10:30:00.000-05:002011-10-22T10:30:38.904-05:00

The human mind is constructed in such a way that when you tell yourself NOT to think about something, it becomes all you think about. For example, I want you to think about your favorite dessert, or meal. Seriously, think about enjoying this dessert. Can you feel your mouth watering simply with the thought of the dessert or meal? Now, tell your self to STOP thinking about the dessert or meal.

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-59341287480161634442011-10-16T22:00:00.000-05:002011-10-16T22:00:17.654-05:00

In moving toward sexual health and recovery, it is important to engage not only your thoughts and feelings in the process, but also your body. Sexual health will include the integration of your body with your thoughts and feelings. There are a number of items to consider as you gain awareness of your body. Pay attention to the touch. How soft/hard is the experience? What is the level of

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-62037352373006916782011-10-14T06:50:00.000-05:002011-10-14T06:50:41.922-05:00

A metaphor to understand cross-compulsivity is the process of making a cookie. One of the first things you do in making cookies is to review the list of ingredients. Typically this list includes flour, eggs, water, sweetener, fat, and a raising agent. Beyond the basics, most of the other ingredients reflect the type of cookie you are making. If you’re making chocolate chip cookies, you need

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-47522367599020418732011-10-05T21:50:00.001-05:002011-10-05T21:52:28.033-05:00

As part of my personal growth journey, I'm taking this class on Buddhist psychology. The text book, The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology is amazing. I recommend it for everyone.

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-61910723675811693632011-10-02T21:34:00.000-05:002011-10-02T21:34:56.812-05:00

Today I worked with a tool labeled “The Wheel of Life.” It is essentially a pie chart that has a number of content areas such as financial, relationship, work, recreation, etc. The questions to ponder are about helping any one of us move a good life to a great life. After reviewing the Wheel of Life, I immediately thought of two additional versions/adaptions. First, I thought of the Sexual

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-59748002325197679562011-10-01T20:53:00.000-05:002011-10-01T20:53:32.435-05:00

The basic premise I bring to my work is that you are first and foremost a whole person. Yes, you are a person whose sexuality is sacred. How often have you been told that your sexuality is already whole and worthy of esteem? In the area of sexuality, rarely do we start from the place of sacredness of sexuality. Even linking the term sacred and sexuality brings confusion, shame, fear, and

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-80577177642385307192011-09-28T08:00:00.001-05:002011-09-28T08:00:27.400-05:00

A metaphor to help express the power of thoughts can be illustrated by my two dogs. I put a lot of energy into training my dogs to walk beside me. Today I let them go off leash, and they stayed right beside due to their training. Even when I tried to have them run free, they followed the training. They didn’t know they were even free, and simply followed the training. In many ways, our thoughts

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One of the obvious reasons for developing a support network when starting this process is simply to gain support. A second reason for developing a support network is to help you discover who you are. It isn’t until we start talking about this sexuality that we understand the layers and connections of sexual health. We may not recognize sex negative thinking until someone says, “Wow I really

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-39187544399101710712011-09-24T13:20:00.000-05:002011-09-24T13:20:40.943-05:00

We can never see past the choices we don't understand. (Matrix Reloaded) The process of sexual health is a journey, a journey that leads to places you may not understand. This is scary, and a normal part of the process. The goal of the process isn’t to make you turnout or behave in a proscribed manner. Instead, it is helping you chart a path for your future addressing things you may not

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-84166792298077400522011-09-19T09:10:00.000-05:002011-09-19T09:10:01.801-05:00

One of the approaches I use in the treatment of sexual compulsivity is a list of virtues. See the link for a list of more than 100. Which words inspire you to learn more?

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-54384489320776033762011-09-10T10:32:00.002-05:002011-09-10T10:32:15.209-05:00

Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either. Albert Einstein The best predictor of your future behavior is your current behavior. Individuals will often say they did something because of a past incident. I think that is often a convenient excuse to avoid responsibility. Building on the concept of parallel process, what you are doing in the

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This exercise is a helpful template to facilitate full disclosure. Use/adapt as you both find necessary. After both you and your partner have completed the above questions, first confirm that you are both willing to go through the process. This starts with a confirmation by each of you to use the information to strengthen the relationship (and not as a reason to end the relationship). If you

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-61364594150153555452011-08-27T10:13:00.003-05:002011-08-27T10:17:12.892-05:00

Mindfulness is the experience of being aware of your current thoughts, feelings, body state and surroundings by paying attention to your reactions, motivations and actions. Our mind is so full of ongoing chatter that it simply becomes the noise the fills up most of our life. To increase your ability to be mindful, I encourage you to become aware of your inner conversation. When someone walks into

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-44538152839170014272011-08-22T08:36:00.000-05:002011-08-22T08:36:32.389-05:00

The workbook is organized in a way that could be used alone or in a therapeutic setting. If you look carefully, you see the standard therapeutic structures within the assignments. Stage 1, for example, reflects the data collection often completed in early therapy. In the clinic I supervise, for example, we use an interview process where a therapist and client complete a bio-psych social. The

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-62507047088053478342011-08-19T21:20:00.001-05:002011-08-19T21:20:47.545-05:00

I updated the content on Transference. Transference is any reaction we have to another person. The individuals with whom we have the strongest reaction are perhaps the people who can teach us the most about our self. Often the experience of transference occurs so quickly, we don’t real-ize neither that it occurred nor are we mindful of the content of the transference. The reality is that

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-22521982722987359222011-08-08T20:21:00.000-05:002011-08-08T20:21:03.069-05:00

Moving toward integrating masturbation into healthy sexuality means moving away from the typical form of masturbation. It is also about moving from shame to self-exploration and discovery. To do so, the following exercise will help expand your experience of masturbation from a quick and dirty activity (on average, lasting 3-5 minutes) to a sensual self-affirming opportunity. This applies to both

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-71590299203119808102011-08-05T23:28:00.000-05:002011-08-05T23:28:01.368-05:00

A powerful instrument to help individuals move toward sexual health is the support of a community. Often in the early stages of addressing sexual health issues, the isolation a client feels is profound. With so many fears and secrets, the expectation that a client share his or her secrets in the sexual timeline is the first hurdle to overcome. But often, it is the sharing of the secrets that

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-37576709966222830732011-07-30T10:55:00.000-05:002011-07-30T10:55:48.388-05:00

One of the foundational beliefs/approaches in my work is the assumption that we are simultaneously the source of our own pain and joy. Often an individual experiences pain as a result of attachments, expectations, desires or other thoughts where I think either I need “this thing” or “this needs to be a certain way.” Different traditions/theories have different words for essentially the same thing

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-30681624929092922682011-07-19T16:56:00.000-05:002011-07-19T16:56:08.708-05:00

http://www.texinstitute.com/program/wednesday/ Presenting on the overlap of sex, drugs and the internet. ;-) Welcome to Texas. It is probably unique that it is cooler in TX right now then MN!

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-81656895575996847052011-07-02T11:55:00.000-05:002011-07-02T11:55:32.634-05:00

A philosophical branch of study is epistemology. It essentially asks, “How do we know what we know?” There is a direct application to the field of sexual compulsivity. Specifically, How do we know what we know about sexuality? For me, this also raises an implicit question, “How do we know whether ‘it’ is healthy/unhealthy sexuality?” Stepping outside the details of epistemology (which are

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-65252684396165666992011-07-01T09:21:00.000-05:002011-07-01T09:21:36.887-05:00

We make a multitude of choices in every moment, so much so that we simply don’t recognize all of these choices in each moment. To process all these choices, the mind abbreviates, habitualizes, shortens or otherwise discards data to help smooth the process of making choices a bit easier and less overwhelming. Nevertheless, you are at where you are at as a function of all the choices you’ve made in

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-90584144031315039672011-06-28T09:15:00.000-05:002011-06-28T09:15:13.429-05:00

Dr. John Gottman is a researcher on couples therapy. He is well known and respected for his work at pinpointing factors that contribute to long-term relationships as well as behaviors that facilitate the demise of relationships. One of his metaphors that he identified was the 4 deadly horsemen in relationships; those behaviors that that bring about an end of a relationship (playing on the theme

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--turns out this is my 200th post. As the saying goes, “Death by a thousand paper cuts.” Life, then, is created by a thousand moments of transformation. Living a life you live is based on a transformation of your daily life. One of the assignments from the workbook is identifying values or virtues important in your life. These values are selected from moments where you feel inspired,

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-40589225006164222992011-06-23T08:08:00.000-05:002011-06-23T08:08:56.864-05:00

Lately I find that I have been referencing the Matrix Movie Trilogy. The movie is rich in symbolism, and is expressive of a great number of archetypes. Outside the gratuitous fight scenes (which could be metaphorical as well), I find a great many helpful metaphors that correspond to living a rich life. Here are just a few. If you have more, please submit. 1) The names of many characters/

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-51205748873640886372011-06-09T09:24:00.000-05:002011-06-09T09:24:33.584-05:00

In my therapy approach, I often ask, “What are you not talking about?” In my opinion, this is one warning flag associated with a possible treatment issue. If there is any historical or current event, topic, behavior or concern that a person isn’t talking about, it’s something that needs to be investigated. Without a doubt, the key in a therapy process is the application of wisdom to discern

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-32850588538102919772011-06-08T19:04:00.001-05:002011-06-08T19:04:48.366-05:00

Click on the title to view my interview on Chan 9 news. As my mother said, you look so serious.

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-63261534409611863592011-06-08T09:32:00.001-05:002011-06-08T10:51:14.620-05:00

A question in the recent public sphere is how does a person know if they have a problem with cybersex. Based on the research, simply going online for sexual material isn’t a problem. Research suggests 80-85% of people have no problem. As an example, most people use alcohol with no problem. And many users of alcohol never move onto drug use. In other words, for many people, alcohol use is not a

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-77656149583454183702011-06-07T08:11:00.000-05:002011-06-07T08:11:06.576-05:00

I was asked if someone could/would engage in cybersex behaviors without actually meeting a partner in real time/face to face as Rep. Weiner acknowledged. The short answer is, “yes.” The reason is that the cybersex behavior isn’t always about the sex. Why do it then? To that question, there is no easy answer. Below is a list of other reasons that people might use to engage in cybersex behaviors.

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-52506598756842733402011-06-06T21:00:00.000-05:002011-06-06T21:00:16.451-05:00

1) This can happen to anyone. Rep. Weiner is one more person in a long list of individuals who have sexual health concerns. 2) Don’t lie. When something happens, the truth will eventually come out. It is better to get everything out right away. 3) Other will be hurt by your behavior. 4) Sex is still a scandal. Our sex negative society still has a strong reaction to sexuality. If we got rid of

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-66867773526670756112011-05-19T10:13:00.000-05:002011-05-19T10:13:44.096-05:00

Adapted from: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sexual Health Weston Edwards, PhD, LP Much of couples therapy focuses on communication skills. Using the helpful metaphor of language, “undoing the assumption that we all speak the same language” is often the first place of intervention. Consider the following examples. English is the predominant language in the United States, and the assumption is

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-78713919916770588572011-05-17T08:51:00.001-05:002011-05-18T22:32:45.354-05:00

I believe fantasies are amazingly powerful in helping an individual uncover/reveal parts of his/her deepest core. Jack Morin, in Erotic Mind highlights much of the academic material that is the source for this assignment. The following is a helpful tool in examining the core of a person’s fantasy(ies). By the way, some individuals suggest they don’t fantasize. If the word "fantasy" gets in the

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-76122132459597319252011-05-07T21:51:00.002-05:002011-05-07T21:51:46.282-05:00

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/8021059/how_chemical_dependency_can_impact.html?cat=5 Click on the title for an interview on the Yahoo.com pages

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-33122456710038258782011-04-30T12:12:00.002-05:002011-05-01T12:49:49.171-05:00

An exercise to help you identify strengths and weaknesses in your relationship is to graph topics on to a target. On a LARGE piece of paper, start by drawing a target with three circles. You are essentially drawing a target that you might use for a bow/etc. The outer circle should take up the entire paper. Within that circle, center a mid-size circle. And within the middle circle, draw

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-51661055348486878932011-04-17T16:36:00.000-05:002011-04-17T16:36:00.871-05:00

is now available on Amazon.

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-28593508472720970422011-04-14T14:05:00.000-05:002011-04-14T14:05:38.206-05:00

It's now available for purchase. WOO HOO! Click the title of the blog to the eStore.

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-32355756076681636432011-04-14T11:47:00.000-05:002011-04-14T11:47:40.756-05:00

One the of the applications in understanding the power of the primary thinking error is the recognition of hidden or unspoken motivations that subconsciously shape our reactions to others. Frequently we are often saying two (or more) things at the same time. It is not surprising that in the end, we get exactly what we mean and not what we say. I have two examples. Often people say, “I want to

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-38406785287601228202011-04-07T10:28:00.002-05:002011-04-07T23:48:33.553-05:00

Much of the fear in recovery is around the fear of relapse and the fear of triggers contributing to relapse. Fear is a powerful feeling. It often sets up paralysis, anxiety, and retrenchment. When faced with any fear, individuals will sometimes literally shrink physically and emotionally. Rather than focus on the fear, I ask you to think of the triggers as opportunities. (And no, this doesn’t

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-12229663518845287912011-04-06T16:11:00.000-05:002011-04-06T16:11:44.553-05:00

CYBERSEX AND RECOVERY The overlap between chemical health recovery, sexual health/sexual compulsivity and cybersex is well documented. Too often, clients and professionals don’t examine the role of the Internet as a relapse trigger for sex and drugs. This brief article provides a basic intro to addressing online behaviors. What is Cybersex? The term “cybersex” has become a catchall to

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-20662743270313022742011-03-27T23:12:00.000-05:002011-03-27T23:12:38.177-05:00

...the book has been submitted to the publisher. Soon, very, very soon.

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-60718054237027297212011-03-15T15:27:00.001-05:002011-03-15T15:28:02.358-05:00

A connection to http://smartasscripple.blogspot.com/2011/02/super-terrifying-grandma-vanelli.html I loved this part of the blog: Try calling a florist and saying, “I need a nice pick-me-up bouquet for a friend who’s been diagnosed with a spinal tumor.” They’ll get on it right away. But then call and say, “I need a nice pick-me-up bouquet for a friend who’s been diagnosed with paranoid

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-73564897441133021262011-03-14T11:45:00.000-05:002011-03-14T11:45:11.462-05:00

March 25, 2011 New York City, New York. Realization Center. The overlap of sexual health concerns and chemical dependency. 3 hr workshop 8:30-noon March 29, Assessment and Treatment Strategies for Cybersex Behaviors. 3 hr workshop Location: 2110 Lyndale Ave S, Minneapolis 8:30-noon May 5, 2011, Ft. Lauderdale, Assessment and Treatment Strategies for Cybersex Behaviors. 5 hr workshop. To

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-83977143324084844502011-03-10T11:17:00.001-06:002011-03-10T11:19:19.889-06:00

I've been reading Dan Savage for years. Dan has a flair that is enjoyable to read. Generally speaking, I often concur with the responses from Dan Savage. Over the recent years, Dan Savage has "grown" in popularity, and is a regular on the cable shows and college campuses. As his popularity grows, more and more commentaries appear. An interesting dialogue in the past few weeks has been fun to

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-13057637193392365022011-03-07T09:39:00.000-06:002011-03-07T09:39:54.575-06:00

My approach to sexual health integrates other helpful tools. Sometimes these tools are implicit such as the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. You can read more at Wikipedia, but a super-brief summary is here with an application to sexual health. Habit 1: Be Proactive Your choices are the primary determining factor for effectiveness in your life. Take responsibility for your

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-15806843293163128732011-02-19T12:26:00.001-06:002011-02-19T12:26:42.565-06:00

The ongoing daily experience of many days of Yoga affirms the importance of humility. At this point, I’m far enough along in the practice to not worry about what others are doing. I’m simply becoming more aware of my own body and how stiff I am. There are always ways to improve my practice. Today the instructor “modified” my positions in a way that allowed me to discover new parts of my body.

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-11704510988339162162011-02-17T12:45:00.002-06:002011-02-17T12:45:33.859-06:00

In Yoga, you’re not a victim. You can modify, stop, or further enter into the position. This is the basic premise of any position. If a certain position doesn’t work, multiple modifications are possible to make it easier or more difficult depending on your skill. The same is true if the position is untenable. In some cases, you simply stop. And yet, some of the most growth occurs by

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-88096458452092682342011-02-16T11:45:00.000-06:002011-02-16T11:45:50.925-06:00

While in Puerto Valletta, Mexico, for a well-earned vacation, I take time to attend Yoga as part of the vacation. (And, no, blogging isn’t work; it’s a type of journaling for me!) Today’s lesson was about being in the moment, a great thing to do while on vacation. The instructor also talked about how yoga is an individual practice that needs to be done with integrity and intelligently. She

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-23338165412285675022011-02-10T12:18:00.002-06:002011-02-16T11:46:31.026-06:00

Link to Dan Savage and Mistermix The above link describes another public scandal regarding sexuality. What both Dan Savage and Mistermix highlight is the importance of sexuality in a person's life, the desire for sexual satisfaction, and the danger when you're not able to resolve these difficulties in your relationship. Integrity in sexual health requires personal responsibility to declare

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-22180213192320197902011-02-06T12:34:00.000-06:002011-02-06T12:34:31.766-06:00

It’s always great when I find someone reading my blog. I was asked a follow-up question regarding breaking the cycle of fear described in the “Illusion of Fear” blog (dated: 1/29/11). I start with the material from the blog and expand it further. Step 1: Don’t play the game. The fear is not real. Remember the fear isn’t real. It may feel real, but it isn’t. Again, very little of the fear we

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-54763980105609723482011-02-05T22:10:00.000-06:002011-02-05T22:10:13.631-06:00

This process of developing your sexual health consists of five phases of understanding. Think about these phases as tools to help you understand what you need to do, and where you are in the particular topic of choice. For example, everyone “knows” what sexual health is, or do we. Picking up this workbook is the process of moving forward to start gathering information. Struggling with this

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-53919074417869257282011-01-31T09:45:00.000-06:002011-01-31T09:45:47.533-06:00

updated for a new workbook (Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sexual Wellness) Believe it or not, sexual wellness is not defined within the field of psychology. A literature review of both psychology and medicine literature databases identified three articles. A search of “sexual wellness” on the Internet also finds few resources. The vast number of websites focus on functioning better,

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-53216290311790075292011-01-29T09:49:00.000-06:002011-01-29T09:49:36.312-06:00

I've been working on this article for the past 2-3 weeks. My thanks to David Walker at: http://www.facebook.com/pages/CoreTruth/127973567250093?ref=ts ----- The starting place is fear. Real fear is when our existence is threatened, but most of fear doesn’t actually threaten our existence. Infrequently this fear is real, but often much of what we fear is simply made up in our thoughts and

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-55503015792152419822011-01-22T13:01:00.002-06:002011-01-22T13:01:26.670-06:00

is now available on Amazon!

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-49594816337351173162011-01-22T12:56:00.002-06:002011-01-22T12:57:46.899-06:00

Throughout life, there are moments when what is, is no longer. Based on a new awareness, life changes. I define these moments as pivot points. When a pivot points occur, the trajectory of your life pivots, and you change the direction of your life. Sometimes the pivot points are “big” and impact a lot of people, other times the pivot point is uniquely your own. Sometimes the change is positive,

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-56296933501111234462011-01-10T08:26:00.000-06:002011-01-10T08:26:03.628-06:00

Those who live by self-deception will perish by self-deception. Children of Dune, Frank Herbert Having an abundance of time sitting on an airplane returning from an extended vacation, I ran across the above quote. When it comes to sexuality, I experience a lot of individuals struggling with self-deception. It might be self-deception related to the quality of their relationship, or the level

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-65208695515292734272010-12-11T13:21:00.000-06:002010-12-11T13:21:15.447-06:00

The inside functions like a projector; others become screens and you start seeing films on others which are really your own tapes. OSHO What we like and dislike in others reflects our inner core. This is a classic psychological principle that also applies to sexuality. That to which we are drawn reflects an inner craving that we must address. That to which we are rejecting also reflects an

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-60120256975651855262010-12-05T18:13:00.000-06:002010-12-05T18:13:41.170-06:00

Click the title to follow the link! Yeah....It's "done" ---almost! Today I submitted the first full draft of Cybersex Unplugged to the editor! What remains is the final editing, and updating in response to editorial comments. However, the content is complete. The goal is to have the book published by the end of the year. Our goal was 6/30/10, and we only missed it by 6 months. I always

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-21885833198951129492010-12-03T08:58:00.000-06:002010-12-03T08:58:17.352-06:00

Positive Sexuality Anger is beautiful; sex is beautiful But beautiful things can go ugly. That depends on you. If you condemn them, they become ugly, If you transform them, they become divine. Anger transformed becomes compassion The same energy that moves into sex becomes love. OSHO One of the most difficult aspects of transforming sexuality is the struggle to address the shame of

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-20150808806576539622010-11-18T11:27:00.000-06:002010-11-18T11:27:01.519-06:00

The last assignment of the up and coming workbook, Cybersex Unplugged is finished. All that remains is the editing. Coming soon! Our final assignment is also about integration. Given the continuing care plan, it is also important to assess the specific internet behaviors that contribute to acting out situations, or otherwise cross personal boundaries. There are many variations of this

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-43519917106151289242010-11-17T08:17:00.000-06:002010-11-17T08:17:00.275-06:00

A number of studies have reported an association between internet compulsivity and attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Unfortunately, this type of research focuses on relationship between two things versus whether or not one causes the other. It is difficult to truly understand what is going on in relational research. To use a metaphor, it’s like saying ice cream sales and crime

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-15258473470038961322010-11-16T08:29:00.001-06:002010-11-16T08:36:09.178-06:00

The inside functions like a projector; Others become screens And you start seeing films on others Which are really your own tapes. OSHO Over the past few weeks, a book I’ve been reading has been a source of reflection for a series of quick blog entries on sexual health. This blog continues this process. I experience being a target of significant emotional reaction from folks, --either

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-1409337258546379362010-11-14T18:20:00.001-06:002010-11-14T18:21:05.662-06:00

To increase your self-awareness, it is important to be aware of the unspoken messages that are part of your inner story. One assignment is to write a response to the question, “What would your genitals say?” The impact of Internet sexual compulsivity can include a distortion of body image and genital image. I find these two topics are some of the biggest issues in a person’s recovery process.

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-88526242362818644592010-11-14T10:40:00.000-06:002010-11-14T10:40:19.102-06:00

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao Tzu Building a life you love requires transformation. Often, however, fear, insecurity, and hopelessness leads to paralysis in a person's movement toward sexual health. In the realm of sexuality, there is often external pressure to conform. When you let go of the expectations that you place on yourself, you move toward the possibility

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-29613362688237549822010-11-13T14:35:00.001-06:002010-11-16T08:37:03.222-06:00

Truth liberates – but it must be your own. OSHO The last few entries on sexual health (including authenticity and repression) highlight the importance of understanding YOUR truth regarding sexual health. The process of clarifying your values, and the behaviors consistent with those values is YOUR truth. Identifying the thoughts, feelings and high-risk situations that impair your life is a

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-87170733868143659182010-11-12T15:34:00.000-06:002010-11-12T15:34:30.663-06:00

One of the major concerns in assessing the internet is the linkage between sexual media and masturbation. Often partners will have different opinions in addressing masturbation. In some opinions, masturbation is a healthy outlet within a relationship and should be incorporated into an individual’s relationship with him or her self as well as his or her partner. Masturbation can be a way to

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-30759287521301508152010-11-09T19:44:00.000-06:002010-11-09T19:44:32.536-06:00

One component of sexual health is body image. One critique of sexually explicit material is that it sets unrealistic expectations for men and women regarding body image as well as genital image. Without a doubt, mainstream American culture worships the perfect body and sets unrealistic expectations for both men and women. Researchers continue to examine contributing factors to struggles

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-28892421108121337022010-11-08T21:29:00.002-06:002010-11-08T21:29:12.848-06:00

I have a remarkable privilege of working in the realm of sexual health. The participants in a 6-week workshop on addressing chemical health recovery and sexual health again reminded me of this privilege. As one person stated, this is the last issue I need to address. I’m continually impressed with the client’s commitment toward “getting this stuff” for their long-term recovery. As the

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-28729930387545826022010-11-07T22:29:00.002-06:002010-11-16T08:37:30.628-06:00

Repression is to live a life that you were not meant to live. Repression is to do things you never wanted to do. Repression is to be fellow that you are not, repression is a way to destroy yourself. Repression is suicide – very slow of course, but a very certain slow poisoning. OSHO Another quote from a book I’ve been reading. The last line of the quote struck me. “Repression is suicide –

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-62286694118503826082010-11-07T13:21:00.001-06:002010-11-16T08:38:00.030-06:00

“You simply remain authentic: you don’t know what is good and what is bad, you don’t know what is positive and what is negative. You are simply authentic. This authenticity will allow you to have a glimpse of the real.” OSHO What is sexual health? There are an abundance of formal definitions of sexual health. And still, what is sexual health? The quote reflects the key to sexual health in my

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-37923277941937717272010-11-03T10:01:00.000-05:002010-11-03T10:01:38.670-05:00

I was keenly reminded how difficult it is to talk about sexual health issues in general and sexual compulsivity in particular. For many individuals, the first steps toward discussing sexual issues are shaped by shame, embarrassment, fear and guilt. I can not stress enough how NORMAL these feelings are when opening up a new area of growth. While it is easy to say, I also know how many of these

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-1723406791400228452010-10-31T10:06:00.000-05:002010-10-31T10:06:02.359-05:00

Sometimes it is easier to explore sexual health issues through a use of a metaphor. A metaphor I like regarding sexual expression is ice cream. Who doesn’t like ice cream, one of god’s primary gifts to humanity! Imagine, if you will, sitting down with a serving of vanilla ice cream. Think of the creamy feeling, and the taste of vanilla as you eat the first spoonful. Even the frozen Vanilla

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-47038581689253953102010-10-25T22:05:00.000-05:002010-10-25T22:05:49.473-05:00

My interview on Bi Cities about sexuality, chemical dependency, and sexual health. Enjoy! Weston

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-4733649993782671122010-10-20T10:47:00.000-05:002010-10-20T10:47:25.066-05:00

How to talk about therapy without talking about therapy. In other discussions, I emphasized the importance of full disclosure. I recognize the importance, however, of full disclosure occurring in a meaningful way usually near the end of the therapy process. It is also important for some type of ongoing disclosure to occur along the way that fosters healing and trust in the relationship. Below

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-12299216468145085022010-10-09T12:00:00.002-05:002010-10-09T12:00:57.006-05:00

The book I published in August is now available on Amazon.com

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-53971824821961269662010-10-09T11:36:00.000-05:002010-10-09T11:36:23.610-05:00

August was a bit of a vacation, while Sept was a lot of traveling for work. I'm now a bit more settled to start blogging. The most recent activity was taping a show for BiCities talking about Chem Dep, Sexual Compulsivity, and Internet Sexual Compulsivity. To be aired in Minneapolis on Channel 6 on Nov 9 and 23 at 7:30. Check the link for other times and cities

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-31875672022944866232010-08-02T16:40:00.000-05:002010-08-02T16:40:11.775-05:00

I'm pleased to announce that my second book is now available. Discovering Your Life: Your Book of Lists Why Can't I Figure Out What I Want in My Life? Are you struggling with a vague notion that things are wrong in your life, but you can't figure out what? Are you unhappy, but you can't figure out why? Are you flailing around trying to figure out what steps to take, where to start, what

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-39375563333541940732010-07-01T00:19:00.000-05:002010-07-01T00:19:49.364-05:00

We're getting close! Yes, progress is being made. An updated rough draft of the introduction to the new CYBERSEX UNPLUGGED. See LIVINGALIFEILOVEBOOKS.COM Does anyone track what I’m doing online? We all wonder who knows what we do online. How do I hide what I’m doing from my partner? OMG, did she see what I was doing? I hope the person on the other side is as hot as they say they are. I get so

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-53027567204413536962010-06-20T08:47:00.000-05:002010-06-20T08:47:30.010-05:00

Defining positive sexuality requires understanding sexuality in a brand new way. In this approach, sexuality is a normal, vital, and positive aspect of your life. Too many people suffer pain when they think about sexuality. Give yourself permission to be a sexual being. Rather than repressed, hidden or shamed, positive sexuality celebrates your sexual energy and being. Yes, this includes

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-67829392985927249542010-06-19T18:39:00.001-05:002010-06-19T18:53:34.737-05:00

Over the last year, I've been updating the previous workbook for a new workbook to be released this summer. Here is one of the last articles that have been rewritten. Check out the website LIVINGALIFEILOVEBOOKS.COM for more information about CYBERSEX UNPLUGGEG We recommend sharing this section with your partner sooner than later. When a person is addressing sexual compulsive behavior, one

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-53320361254835655942010-06-07T12:41:00.000-05:002010-06-07T12:41:40.821-05:00

I argue that all of our life is built on sexuality. Simply look and it is possible to see connections to sexuality that may have been unrecognized. A great deal of the advertising is built on sexuality. “If I buy this thing, I will get the right partner, perfect job, or woo the person of my dream.” The funniest jokes are often based on sexual innuendo. The biggest social issues of the time are

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-35523566435642705922010-05-28T07:36:00.000-05:002010-05-28T07:36:08.588-05:00

Much of couples therapy focuses on communication skills. A metaphor I use in working in couples therapy is based on language. Undoing the assumption that we all speak the same language is often the first place of intervention. Consider the following examples. English is the predominant language in the United States. “We all speak English” is the assumption. Yet, within the United States, words

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-89493452878127835372010-05-24T07:18:00.000-05:002010-05-24T07:18:05.970-05:00

A mentor (who I greatly respect) and I have a running debate between the need to learn about sexual health and the need to experience sexual health. While we might argue the nuances, I think we agree that both are important. Much of my work in the writing/blog is about providing basic education regarding sexual health. Recent feedback from a client is that I use too many big words. Rather than

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-72334295154774296372010-05-19T08:23:00.002-05:002010-05-19T19:30:33.873-05:00

I am keenly reminded of the pain many people experience in the realm of sexuality. This pain is from a variety of sources including the typical sources of abuse, shame, and guilt. But, the sources of pain can include social, familial, cultural or religious messages. A major concern is when the external messages become internalized and the individual replicates and reinforces the painful messages

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-74307439504781319102010-05-06T13:11:00.000-05:002010-05-06T13:11:22.876-05:00

In the last few days, another scandal broke regarding homosexuality and the Christian right. In short, George Rekers, a Baptist minister who provided testimony against gays, served on the Board of NARTH (National Association of Rehabilitation and Treatment of Homosexuality), and on the board of a predecessor to Focus on the Family was seen with a sex worker who advertised on RENTBOY.COM. The

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-15223143978152740082010-05-05T08:38:00.000-05:002010-05-05T08:38:17.340-05:00

When we think about who we are, we essentially come up with a story. When you string enough of the stories together, you develop a sense of self. Some of our stories have a profound role in shaping our identity; other stories have a minimal impact. Sometimes there is a story we deny, avoid or otherwise minimize. Sometimes we simply forget our stories. In a few cases, we’ve never thought about a

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-69668466692705779962010-04-30T16:35:00.001-05:002010-04-30T16:49:26.679-05:00

We’ve all heard about the Golden-Rule: Treat other people as you would like to be treated. Pretty straight forward and most people get it. Have you ever heard of the “Reverse Golden-Rule?” It simply states: Treat yourself the way you would treat others. Many times in recovery, clients treat themselves so poorly that I’m bothered by the way they treat themselves. These individuals emotionally

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-47484041389153946302010-04-30T08:50:00.001-05:002010-04-30T15:43:18.755-05:00

A few weeks ago I highlighted a few strategies for finding a sex therapist. When looking for a relationship therapist, a few adjustments to the strategies are important. 1) What is your Goal? Before you start, to the best of your ability clarify your goal. While it might be hard to acknowledge, if you know you don’t want to stay in the relationship, be honest and up front for the sanity of

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-70467125203561786082010-04-29T09:30:00.000-05:002010-04-29T09:30:24.298-05:00

I work with many individuals whose view of sexuality is amazingly negative. For any number of reasons ranging from abuse, “-isms,” fear, trauma, cultural and/or religious messages, many of my clients have a very negative view of sexuality in general and their sexuality in particular. Many individuals tell their personal story about how they need chemicals to shut of these negative messages.

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-31127569117238056922010-04-28T09:21:00.002-05:002010-04-28T09:38:03.767-05:00

One of the more difficult aspects in moving toward sexual health is clarifying YOUR personal definition of sexual health. This journey builds on yesterday’s discussion on integrity. What do you really want in your life? Today’s nuance highlights how many times we are told what we SHOULD want. Listen to the language in statements by others, the frequency of “You SHOULD…..” is amazing. All of

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-3400712865297226212010-04-26T15:00:00.001-05:002010-04-26T16:11:10.084-05:00

Integrity (Merriam-Webster): The quality or state of being complete or undivided. One of my major goals in fostering sexual health is to help individuals move toward integrity in the realm of sexuality. A number of important characteristics are identifiable by a person living in integrity. 1) HONESTY. You speak what you mean and you mean what you speak. In other words, if you relapse or act

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-43638903568648022232010-04-24T20:37:00.002-05:002010-04-24T20:41:25.862-05:00

>A recent request for questions resulted in someone asking what I think is one of the MOST difficult questions in sexuality/HIV prevention. “Should I disclose HIV status when I’m having unsafe sex?” My short answer is “yes.” My long answer is also “yes,” but probably not for the reason one would think. Before I go into my response, I highlight the level of fear, AIDS phobia, inaccurate

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9071292759864955701.post-34879068934238832302010-04-19T08:33:00.001-05:002010-04-19T08:35:23.150-05:00

Recent events reminded me how difficulty it is to find a clinician with skills in the area of sexuality. I thought it might be helpful to highlight a few strategies to find a clinician who specializes in sexuality. I forget the difficulty many clients have in talking about sexuality. I’ve been in the field for 16 years at this point; sometimes it feels like all I do is talk about sex. (Is it

Welcomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05070079766159815686noreply@blogger.com0