This is desire’s secret agenda, to alert us to the gap
between our expectations and the way things actually are. In so doing, it shows
us that there is something more interesting than success or failure, more
compelling than having complete control.
Epstein, M (2005) Open to Desire: The Truth About What the
Buddha Taught
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The adage: One drink is too many, and 1000 drinks aren’t
enough illustrate the need for many in recovery to focus on abstinence. When
coping with desire, this either-or approach fails. Desire by plan creates us in
us a yearning and is never completely satisfied. To cope with this tension,
many in recovery “shut” off and avoid desire. Recovery may become an avoidance
of desire (including sexuality, intimacy, and relationships) or a new addiction
in its own right (such as sexual compulsivity, “love and relationship addiction”).
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