Drugs, Sex and Recovery: Fitting the Pieces Together

Drugs, Sex and Recovery: Fitting the Pieces Together.

I'm happy to share (with Pride, and a sense of relief) that my newest workbook is available.


Recovery is about living a better life. Picture a life in recovery in which everything fits together like the pieces of a puzzle. Sexuality is a part of that picture--an important piece of the recovery puzzle that many people fail to examine. Sexuality is often fraught with confusion, embarrassment, fear, anxiety, shame, and avoidance.


The goal of this workbook is to help you recognize the positive power and role of sexuality in your recovery, thereby creating hope and personal fulfillment in your life. By breaking the daunting subject of sexuality into smaller pieces, the workbook allows you to address sexuality in a safe and healing approach. Topics include healthy sexuality, healing from trauma, types of intimacy, relationships, disclosure of information, spirituality, healthy touch, cultural messages, sexual expression, mental health, body image, sexual functioning and many more. For many readers, this will be the first time you deeply examine sexuality and its connection to your chemical use.

As you move through the workbook, questions for reflection are posed to help you examine the relationship between sexuality and your chemical use. Creative exercises move you toward an integrated experience of sexual health. I encourage you to discover, accept, and care for your true sexual self by embarking on this work.

Living a Life I Love website up

The website for the 4 workbooks is "up." The vagaries of the internet resulted in the website disappearing for a while. Please feel free to review extended discussions on the content of the workbooks.

Down under presentation

I’m reminded how much desire and positive energy there is to talk about sexuality. While on vacation in Australia, my friends invited me to present a 45 minute workshop on the new workbook. Based on 1 email list, 26 guys showed up for a conversation about sexual health, and Living A life I Love. The short version, I covered the key of choosing what sexual behavior is most important to you in your life, life goals, Cybersex and the sexual health model. (If you want the long version, search out the blog tags Cybersex, Values, Sexual Health Model, and Personal Definition of Sexual Health for more info).

I am amazed that 26 guys would show up that quickly, with no planning. Special thanks to Peter, David and Nick!

Living a Life I Love, 2nd edition

The 2nd edition of Living a Life I Love is now available!

I've been a bit busy over the past month finishing the editing process for the new edition of Living a Life I Love. The 2nd edition is officially available as of today. Check out the link for more information and to purchase the workbook!

Theory, Adaptations and Recommendations

The workbook is organized in a way that could be used alone or in a therapeutic setting. If you look carefully, you see the standard therapeutic structures within the assignments. Stage 1, for example, reflects the data collection often completed in early therapy. In the clinic I supervise, for example, we use an interview process where a therapist and client complete a bio-psych social. The relevant topics in the workbook for data collection are:

• Developing Rapport (talking about sex)
• Short-term treatment plan (what brought you to treatment)
• Data Collection (sex history, timeline, logs, acting out cycle, cross compulsivity, be-havioral analysis).

After the data is collected, a client will collaborate with the clinician to complete a treat-ment plan. The treatment plan is where the client tells the clinician what are the most im-portant issues. In the workbook, this corresponds to the summary and prioritization of topics at the end of stage 1 (see page 73).
After the completion of the treatment plan, the client starts the work corresponding to the client-defined priorities. The topics in stage 2 reflect an introduction to the major issues that I believe are most important. If additional material on a topic is needed, the client is encouraged to go beyond this workbook. All of the assignments in the workbook reflect an attempt to integrate a cognitive behavioral model with a health promotion model.

In the therapy process, there comes a time when both the clinician and client recognize the process is nearing the end. Assignments in stage three reflects the termination process by helping the client clarify the major issues to be addressed after treatment (continuing care plan), and provide opportunities for the client to demonstrate the progress that oc-curred in the treatment process (personal definition of sexual health). These two assign-ments are done within a context of motivational interviewing and stages of change model (Spirituality Values, and Sexual Health). In other words, a client’s values shapes what the client thinks is most important in his or her life, and confirms what the client is willing to commit to in the future within the client’s cultural context (e.g., the first topic in Stage 2).

The reason for the extended discussion is to help either the client or professional to make changes, or adaptations to the structure. You are encouraged to use the workbook in a way that makes sense to you. The implicit structure is what makes sense to me. But in the end, a personal definition of sexual health requires each of us to define what is right with-in our world. My hope is that you found the workbook helpful.

Bi Cities

My interview on Bi Cities about sexuality, chemical dependency, and sexual health.

Enjoy!

Weston

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sexual Health

I argue that all of our life is built on sexuality. Simply look and it is possible to see connections to sexuality that may have been unrecognized. A great deal of the advertising is built on sexuality. “If I buy this thing, I will get the right partner, perfect job, or woo the person of my dream.” The funniest jokes are often based on sexual innuendo. The biggest social issues of the time are related to sexuality. Many of our fears about the future are based on the question of whether or not I will find someone to love. Some of the biggest fears we have are about trusting our partner. Our biggest pains often connect to relationship failures. For some people, our biggest joys are children.

All of these examples highlight how important sexuality is in our life. But almost no-where do we have any discussion about sexuality that fosters growth and understanding. Much of our discussion on sexual health is unspoken, or if spoken it is fear based. What would it look like to take a moment to expand the discussion and uncover all the messages we hear about sexuality? What would it look like if we sat down and discussed our sexual beliefs? What would it look like if I identified what is healthy in my life and actually took the responsibility to assertively get my needs met?

Cybersex Unplugged: Finding Sexual Health in an Electronic World

Cybersex Unplugged: Finding Sexual Health in an Electronic World
By Weston Edwards

Living A Life I Love Books

It’s been a few months since the last entry. I’ve been experiencing significant professional changes that I took some time off from the writing. I’m happy to say I’m back. I’m excited to say, “We’re back.” Over the next few months, two additional authors will be joining me in posting to the Sexual Health Institute Blog.

David Delmonico, PhD is an associate professor Duquesne University where he teaches in the School of Education. Elizabeth Griffin, MA is a therapist in private practice. Together the two of them run a consulting company “Internet Behavior” addressing Internet Sexual Compulsivity among many issues. They previously published a workbook on Internet Compulsivity that is since out of print. While we’ve known each other for years, we recently reconnected. The positive synergy resulting from our interactions led to a decision to collaborate on the new workbook. The material will integrate concepts and content from our respective work. While there may be some overlap with our previous work, much of what is in the workbook will be new and tailored to treating Internet Sexual Compulsivity.

The future blogs will reflect some of the “brainstorming” and ”first drafts” in the conversation as we develop and edit the book. As always, our commitment is to make a difference in the world and sharing the information in this venue allows anyone access to the material. Your help and suggestions are welcome. If you see something missing let us know.

Until the next post, be safe.