Showing posts with label cybersex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cybersex. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
My June 7th interview on Chan 9 News
Click on the title to view my interview on Chan 9 news. As my mother said, you look so serious.
Do I have a cybersex problem?
A question in the recent public sphere is how does a person know if they have a problem with cybersex. Based on the research, simply going online for sexual material isn’t a problem. Research suggests 80-85% of people have no problem. As an example, most people use alcohol with no problem. And many users of alcohol never move onto drug use. In other words, for many people, alcohol use is not a problem. The same can be true for cybersex. But how does one know? The following are some things to consider.
1) Does it “feel” like a problem for you? If so, try to uncover why it feels like a problem.
2) Have you tried to stop, and failed? Explore why.
3) Often cybersex issues aren’t about the cybersex behaviors, but expressive of other issues such as relationship, loneliness, depression, boredom, anxiety or other concerns. How present are these issues?
4) In what way have your behaviors put you at risk for consequences including legal, emotional, relational, financial or employment consequences
5) What, if any, consequences have you experienced?
The website internetbehavior.com has a screening instrument you can also complete. It has about 25 questions to consider. A copy of the instrument is also in the book Cybersex Unplugged. In reviewing your responses, you’ll start to get a sense if it is a problem or not. When in doubt, seek help to help you figure this out.
1) Does it “feel” like a problem for you? If so, try to uncover why it feels like a problem.
2) Have you tried to stop, and failed? Explore why.
3) Often cybersex issues aren’t about the cybersex behaviors, but expressive of other issues such as relationship, loneliness, depression, boredom, anxiety or other concerns. How present are these issues?
4) In what way have your behaviors put you at risk for consequences including legal, emotional, relational, financial or employment consequences
5) What, if any, consequences have you experienced?
The website internetbehavior.com has a screening instrument you can also complete. It has about 25 questions to consider. A copy of the instrument is also in the book Cybersex Unplugged. In reviewing your responses, you’ll start to get a sense if it is a problem or not. When in doubt, seek help to help you figure this out.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Introduction to Cybersex Unplugged
We're getting close! Yes, progress is being made. An updated rough draft of the introduction to the new CYBERSEX UNPLUGGED. See LIVINGALIFEILOVEBOOKS.COM
Does anyone track what I’m doing online? We all wonder who knows what we do online. How do I hide what I’m doing from my partner? OMG, did she see what I was doing? I hope the person on the other side is as hot as they say they are. I get so tired of the online games. I’m only online because I can’t have sex with my partner. Boy that chat was great; is that cheating? I’d like to have sex with that person in the video. Is that pic legal?
We’ve all heard the stories of people getting caught doing online sexual stuff. Someone was fired, a relationship ended, a fight ensued, or someone was arrested. Perhaps one of the stories people talk about is you? Perhaps your just the next person they’ll talk about if you don’t stop what your doing.
This workbook resulted from conversations with individuals who struggle with their online sexual behavior. The consensus from these individuals and their therapists was a current workbook addressing the common issues for cybersex compulsivity was needed.
This book builds on our experience to focus on the nuances of Internet sexual compulsivity. We break down the complex elements into what we think are basic issues to addressed. We also highlight what we think are issues unique to cybersex including topics such as: psychology of the Internet, cybersex user categories, and understanding, assessing, and managing your Internet use. These topics highlight the nuances of cybersex. Sadly, not much research has been done in this area. Very little is truly known. Still, the three of us represent over 50 years of clinical and research work. Much of what we do write is based on our clinical experiences, research on related topics that we find are helpful in addressing cybersex, and in all honesty a bit of a “guess.” We hope you find this workbook useful as you strive to find sexual health in an electronic world.
This workbook focuses on cybersex; as such it is limited to cybersex. We believe cybersex is a subset of a larger field of sexual compulsivity. This workbook is not meant to address the larger topic of classic sexual compulsivity that is broad, with a variety of factors and addressed in the first book by Dr. Edwards (Living a Life I Love).
Does anyone track what I’m doing online? We all wonder who knows what we do online. How do I hide what I’m doing from my partner? OMG, did she see what I was doing? I hope the person on the other side is as hot as they say they are. I get so tired of the online games. I’m only online because I can’t have sex with my partner. Boy that chat was great; is that cheating? I’d like to have sex with that person in the video. Is that pic legal?
We’ve all heard the stories of people getting caught doing online sexual stuff. Someone was fired, a relationship ended, a fight ensued, or someone was arrested. Perhaps one of the stories people talk about is you? Perhaps your just the next person they’ll talk about if you don’t stop what your doing.
This workbook resulted from conversations with individuals who struggle with their online sexual behavior. The consensus from these individuals and their therapists was a current workbook addressing the common issues for cybersex compulsivity was needed.
This book builds on our experience to focus on the nuances of Internet sexual compulsivity. We break down the complex elements into what we think are basic issues to addressed. We also highlight what we think are issues unique to cybersex including topics such as: psychology of the Internet, cybersex user categories, and understanding, assessing, and managing your Internet use. These topics highlight the nuances of cybersex. Sadly, not much research has been done in this area. Very little is truly known. Still, the three of us represent over 50 years of clinical and research work. Much of what we do write is based on our clinical experiences, research on related topics that we find are helpful in addressing cybersex, and in all honesty a bit of a “guess.” We hope you find this workbook useful as you strive to find sexual health in an electronic world.
This workbook focuses on cybersex; as such it is limited to cybersex. We believe cybersex is a subset of a larger field of sexual compulsivity. This workbook is not meant to address the larger topic of classic sexual compulsivity that is broad, with a variety of factors and addressed in the first book by Dr. Edwards (Living a Life I Love).
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The Unique Focus of Cybersex Unplugged
by Weston Edwards
What’s different about this workbook?
Our collective clinical and research experience in addition to a multitude of requests from other providers highlights the need for a workbook addressing the unique issues of Internet sexual compulsivity. While classic sexual compulsivity is broad, with a variety of factors and addressed in the first book by Dr. Edwards, this book builds on our experience to focus on the nuances of Internet sexual compulsivity. The following topics highlight a few of the factors that will be addressed in the book that may be different from other expressions of compulsivity.
In classic sexual compulsivity, we see people engaging in high-risk behaviors that involve others in some form of public behavior. This might range from public sex, hiring a sex worker, spending money on lap dance, or hooking up with a casual partner. In each of these cases, some type of public activity has occurred. Within the context of Internet sexual compulsivity, there may be situations where the Internet is a venue to these activities. Often, however Internet compulsive behaviors occur in the realm of privacy and fantasy. The download of sexual explicit material can occur in the privacy of one’s home with the illusion that “no one knows.” The wasted time occurring while masturbating to streaming videos highlights the fact that the behavior often occurs in privacy with few public consequences. There are limited direct medical consequences from Internet sexual compulsivity.
Building on these differences, the treatment and intervention for Internet Sexual Compulsivity is also nuanced. While going “cold turkey” from the Internet sounds appealing, our clinical experience suggests that this isn’t as possible as we would like. The amount of legitimate business requiring the Internet has significantly increased. It is almost impossible for a person to “cut-off” the Internet in his or her life as it was 10 -15 years ago. We find many individuals can stop the Internet Access at home, only to be forced to use the Internet at work. Treatment therefore requires some type of Internet Use plan. These best comparison is the example of individuals recovering from an eating disorder who develop a safe-eating plan as part of the recovery process simply because eating is required for survival. The same analogy can be applied to sexual health in general and recovery from Internet sexual compulsivity in particular.
What’s different about this workbook?
Our collective clinical and research experience in addition to a multitude of requests from other providers highlights the need for a workbook addressing the unique issues of Internet sexual compulsivity. While classic sexual compulsivity is broad, with a variety of factors and addressed in the first book by Dr. Edwards, this book builds on our experience to focus on the nuances of Internet sexual compulsivity. The following topics highlight a few of the factors that will be addressed in the book that may be different from other expressions of compulsivity.
In classic sexual compulsivity, we see people engaging in high-risk behaviors that involve others in some form of public behavior. This might range from public sex, hiring a sex worker, spending money on lap dance, or hooking up with a casual partner. In each of these cases, some type of public activity has occurred. Within the context of Internet sexual compulsivity, there may be situations where the Internet is a venue to these activities. Often, however Internet compulsive behaviors occur in the realm of privacy and fantasy. The download of sexual explicit material can occur in the privacy of one’s home with the illusion that “no one knows.” The wasted time occurring while masturbating to streaming videos highlights the fact that the behavior often occurs in privacy with few public consequences. There are limited direct medical consequences from Internet sexual compulsivity.
Building on these differences, the treatment and intervention for Internet Sexual Compulsivity is also nuanced. While going “cold turkey” from the Internet sounds appealing, our clinical experience suggests that this isn’t as possible as we would like. The amount of legitimate business requiring the Internet has significantly increased. It is almost impossible for a person to “cut-off” the Internet in his or her life as it was 10 -15 years ago. We find many individuals can stop the Internet Access at home, only to be forced to use the Internet at work. Treatment therefore requires some type of Internet Use plan. These best comparison is the example of individuals recovering from an eating disorder who develop a safe-eating plan as part of the recovery process simply because eating is required for survival. The same analogy can be applied to sexual health in general and recovery from Internet sexual compulsivity in particular.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Cybersex Unplugged: Finding Sexual Health in an Electronic World
Cybersex Unplugged: Finding Sexual Health in an Electronic World
By Weston Edwards
Living A Life I Love Books
It’s been a few months since the last entry. I’ve been experiencing significant professional changes that I took some time off from the writing. I’m happy to say I’m back. I’m excited to say, “We’re back.” Over the next few months, two additional authors will be joining me in posting to the Sexual Health Institute Blog.
David Delmonico, PhD is an associate professor Duquesne University where he teaches in the School of Education. Elizabeth Griffin, MA is a therapist in private practice. Together the two of them run a consulting company “Internet Behavior” addressing Internet Sexual Compulsivity among many issues. They previously published a workbook on Internet Compulsivity that is since out of print. While we’ve known each other for years, we recently reconnected. The positive synergy resulting from our interactions led to a decision to collaborate on the new workbook. The material will integrate concepts and content from our respective work. While there may be some overlap with our previous work, much of what is in the workbook will be new and tailored to treating Internet Sexual Compulsivity.
The future blogs will reflect some of the “brainstorming” and ”first drafts” in the conversation as we develop and edit the book. As always, our commitment is to make a difference in the world and sharing the information in this venue allows anyone access to the material. Your help and suggestions are welcome. If you see something missing let us know.
Until the next post, be safe.
By Weston Edwards
Living A Life I Love Books
It’s been a few months since the last entry. I’ve been experiencing significant professional changes that I took some time off from the writing. I’m happy to say I’m back. I’m excited to say, “We’re back.” Over the next few months, two additional authors will be joining me in posting to the Sexual Health Institute Blog.
David Delmonico, PhD is an associate professor Duquesne University where he teaches in the School of Education. Elizabeth Griffin, MA is a therapist in private practice. Together the two of them run a consulting company “Internet Behavior” addressing Internet Sexual Compulsivity among many issues. They previously published a workbook on Internet Compulsivity that is since out of print. While we’ve known each other for years, we recently reconnected. The positive synergy resulting from our interactions led to a decision to collaborate on the new workbook. The material will integrate concepts and content from our respective work. While there may be some overlap with our previous work, much of what is in the workbook will be new and tailored to treating Internet Sexual Compulsivity.
The future blogs will reflect some of the “brainstorming” and ”first drafts” in the conversation as we develop and edit the book. As always, our commitment is to make a difference in the world and sharing the information in this venue allows anyone access to the material. Your help and suggestions are welcome. If you see something missing let us know.
Until the next post, be safe.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
