The Puzzle of Drugs, Alcohol, Sex, and Other Behaviors

The Puzzle of Drugs, Alcohol, Sex, and Other Behaviors

Sexuality is a complicated puzzle that many individuals don’t address during “treatment,” and it is a major factor in recovery and sobriety. The first time most individuals in recovery start addressing sexuality is during the 4^th step and the fearless moral inventory that raises sexuality as a series of questions. While helpful, the questions are minimal and don’t necessarily provide a robust path on the journey toward integrating sexuality and recovery. Sexuality is an area than can trigger a relapse. It is often the last piece of the puzzle client’s address in recovery. In my experience, the link between sexuality and drugs is pretty clear. At this point, a few examples can highlight the relationship. For many individuals who used crystal methamphetamine, the high is often linked to an intense sexual craving/drive. Recovery for the crystal meth addict will often require unlinking the drug/sex connection. Next, alcohol is considered liquid courage helping people overcome the fear of rejection. Furthermore, chemicals can deaden the pain of loneliness or provide an outlet when someone is bored. Another example, in early recovery clients often gain significant weight triggering negative feelings around body image.

Judgement and Sexual Health

A connection to
http://smartasscripple.blogspot.com/2011/02/super-terrifying-grandma-vanelli.html

I loved this part of the blog:

Try calling a florist and saying, “I need a nice pick-me-up bouquet for a friend who’s been diagnosed with a spinal tumor.” They’ll get on it right away. But then call and say, “I need a nice pick-me-up bouquet for a friend who’s been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.” They’ll think it’s a prank call. Or go to your local cozy little Hallmark store and say “I’m looking for a card for a friend who’s been in bed all week with the flu.” They’ll have rows and rows of cards expressing the perfect sentiment I’m sure. But then say “Now I’m looking for a card for a friend who’s been in bed all week with post-traumatic stress disorder.” They’ll probably call security.

I would add:

Now ask, "I'm looking for flowers for someone who just found out they are HIV+." I'm looking for a nice card for someone who test positive for Syphilis."

If mental health is discriminated against, sexual health is even further down the food chain. In these cases, the reaction is "they deserve it."

Just saying.

Weston

Yoga, Humility, and Sexuality

The ongoing daily experience of many days of Yoga affirms the importance of humility. At this point, I’m far enough along in the practice to not worry about what others are doing. I’m simply becoming more aware of my own body and how stiff I am. There are always ways to improve my practice. Today the instructor “modified” my positions in a way that allowed me to discover new parts of my body. Many of the modifications she helped me with where around hip openers. My guess is I would need a year of hip openers to do anything about them. I jokingly talk about my “father’s hips” which I inherited. They simply are stiff, and don’t move, and get in the way of flexibility regarding many more positions. Alas, it is a process, and a lesson in humility.

So it is true in sexuality. Sometimes my role is it the role of a teacher, and many times my role is that of a student. I continue to discover that there are many others who know more than me. I also know I am continually uncovering my own biases and barriers. And in many circumstances, I affirm that I have more to learn.

Namaste

Deception, Sexual Health, and Spirituality.

Those who live by self-deception will perish by self-deception.
Children of Dune, Frank Herbert

Having an abundance of time sitting on an airplane returning from an extended vacation, I ran across the above quote. When it comes to sexuality, I experience a lot of individuals struggling with self-deception. It might be self-deception related to the quality of their relationship, or the level of compulsivity, or simply deception about their inner desires. What strikes me about the quote is that those living in self-deception are in a type of spiritual death.




The show I was watching. OK, so I'm a bit of a sci-fi geek!

Sexual repression as suicide

Repression is to live a life that you were not meant to live. Repression is to do things you never wanted to do. Repression is to be fellow that you are not, repression is a way to destroy yourself. Repression is suicide – very slow of course, but a very certain slow poisoning. OSHO


Another quote from a book I’ve been reading.

The last line of the quote struck me. “Repression is suicide – very slow of course, but a very certain slow poisoning.” This is no truer in the realm of sexuality. I can not remember how many times I’ve worked with people who are experiencing a slow death because of the repression of their sexual energy. I can’t help but think of my work in chemical dependency as a way to avoid the pain of this slow death. The shame, fear, hurt, and guilt are the consequences of this repression.

What would it look like if you ended your own repression regarding your sexuality? How might life be different? How might you be different? How would your relationships be different?

I believe that one of the best interventions is to simply affirm the possibility of the individual to be who he or she is. I don’t give permission; rather the individual has within him or her own being the inherent permission to the core in all areas. Given my focus, this includes being alive in the realm of sexuality. It is stepping beyond the repression to affirm you wants, needs, and desires. Sometimes this will be easy; often it will be a bit of work.






OSHO (1999) Emotions: Freedom from Anger, Jealousy and Fear. OSHO International: New York.


This is currently available as a free kindle ebook on Amazon. (The kindle version is no longer free, updated 11/16).