http://www.texinstitute.com/program/wednesday/
Presenting on the overlap of sex, drugs and the internet. ;-) Welcome to Texas. It is probably unique that it is cooler in TX right now then MN!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
How do you know what you know?
A philosophical branch of study is epistemology. It essentially asks, “How do we know what we know?” There is a direct application to the field of sexual compulsivity. Specifically, How do we know what we know about sexuality? For me, this also raises an implicit question, “How do we know whether ‘it’ is healthy/unhealthy sexuality?”
Stepping outside the details of epistemology (which are amazingly complex), my emphasis is to integrate a healthy dose of skepticism into therapy. The key is challenging the assumptions an individual has regarding any belief, value, opinion, thought, or conclusion. Throughout my work with clients, I will ask, “Says who?” “What’s underneath/before that?” “What else could it be?” and/or “What about….?”
The goal of these questions is to challenge the absolutism that appears to be present in the current culture regarding sexuality. Often it is the internalized absolutism that is the source of unneeded emotional pain. In my opinion, nowhere else do we still have such a dichotomy of right/wrong providing external pressure for individuals to conform.
Stepping outside the details of epistemology (which are amazingly complex), my emphasis is to integrate a healthy dose of skepticism into therapy. The key is challenging the assumptions an individual has regarding any belief, value, opinion, thought, or conclusion. Throughout my work with clients, I will ask, “Says who?” “What’s underneath/before that?” “What else could it be?” and/or “What about….?”
The goal of these questions is to challenge the absolutism that appears to be present in the current culture regarding sexuality. Often it is the internalized absolutism that is the source of unneeded emotional pain. In my opinion, nowhere else do we still have such a dichotomy of right/wrong providing external pressure for individuals to conform.
Friday, July 1, 2011
You are not here by accident
We make a multitude of choices in every moment, so much so that we simply don’t recognize all of these choices in each moment. To process all these choices, the mind abbreviates, habitualizes, shortens or otherwise discards data to help smooth the process of making choices a bit easier and less overwhelming. Nevertheless, you are at where you are at as a function of all the choices you’ve made in your life.
This requires each of us to radically accept responsibility for exactly where we are at in this moment as a function of our choices. Even if bad things have occurred, our reaction is a choice. Even in loose-loose situations, you make a choice. Not to act is to make a choice.
The implication in this acceptance of responsibility is that our next moment is an opportunity of choice. Simply put, you can choose to stay in the same track, or you can choose to do something else. Yes it may be hard, yes you will fail, yes you will struggle, yes you will not know what to do, yes you will want to stop, all of which reflect a choice in the subsequent moment.
What do you choose now?
Choose.
This requires each of us to radically accept responsibility for exactly where we are at in this moment as a function of our choices. Even if bad things have occurred, our reaction is a choice. Even in loose-loose situations, you make a choice. Not to act is to make a choice.
The implication in this acceptance of responsibility is that our next moment is an opportunity of choice. Simply put, you can choose to stay in the same track, or you can choose to do something else. Yes it may be hard, yes you will fail, yes you will struggle, yes you will not know what to do, yes you will want to stop, all of which reflect a choice in the subsequent moment.
What do you choose now?
Choose.
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