Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Healthy Solo-sex

"Can you tell me how to masturbate longer than 10 minutes that includes using a dildo?"

Here are eight ideas to prolong things -- in a good way, that is.

Be the turtle
Jacking off is not a race to see who can finish first, although that can be fun, too. Often, a j/o session is a fill-in behavior to boredom, or simply a spontaneous reaction to feeling horny. Think about when you can "schedule" the time and you'll find your j/o sessions will get more intense and powerful.

Not all dildos are created equal
If you are planning on using a dildo, make sure you have a size realistic for you. Anal play requires a lot of lubrication and time to loosen up, so before you grab the dildo modeled after your favorite well-endowed porn star, you might want to think about starting with something smaller. Dildo novices! This means don't just push in the largest thing you can find. Make sure you follow good dildo care by using a condom (condoms can help keep the dildo clean, make them last longer as well as help with clean up).

You might also want to consider trying a butt plug instead. Given the solo process, your hands might be busy with other things, making it difficult to keep the dildo in your body.

Go for the fantasy
Think about your favorite sexual fantasy. Perhaps writing your fantasy out can help expand the fantasy. Identify who, what, when, where, paying attention to the surroundings, smells, sounds, circumstances and details. By identifying your fantasies, you can integrate them into your solo-sex sessions

Really get to know your body
Part of making a solo j/o session fun is the process of discovering which parts of your body are most arousing. Since there are a number of known erogenous parts of your body, go exploring and pay attention to those that are most erogenous for you. Some guys find their nipples arousing. Others find their legs, balls, or neck arousing. Don't forget the anus and the area between the balls and anus. Play, rub, and otherwise stimulate these areas. Move to massaging and playing with the various parts of your body.

Give him a hand
When you stimulate your penis, pay attention to the various ways you can hold your penis. Different grips lead to different experiences. Discover what you like the most, and try other ways, as opposed to simply doing it the same way every time.

Edged out
The typical guy has a time of increasing arousal, a period of time of erection, and then a point where no matter how hard he tries, he can't stop the orgasm. Edge play is the process of approaching this point and then backing down again.

Two's company
One sign of a healthy relationship is the ability to talk about sex, including fantasy and masturbation. Mutual masturbation, dildo play and many of the ideas above can easily be integrated into your relationship. Talk with your partner about what he likes and incorporate them as well. Healthy sexual relationships can include solo masturbation, mutual masturbation and multiple forms of play.

Review and repeat
This is perhaps a task that is great to practice and repeat. Use different positions, body parts, hand holds or other things, such as fabric, or types of lubricants. Try different fantasies and scenarios. In other words, keep changing things up to keep things lively.

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