Sunday, August 5, 2012

Eros and Desire

Writing a new workbook. 
(see next blog post for the picture of the cover)
(release currently scheduled for 10/1/12)

So far in the workbook I have been taking about the general concepts of sexuality. Here I want to highlight the power of Eros and desire.  They are related.  Eros is the sexual energy/attraction that shapes much of our sexuality. It is as much a part of us as our thoughts are part of our mind, seeing is a part of our eyes, hearing is a part of our ears, tasting is a part of our mouth, smelling is a part of our nose, and touching is a part of our skin.  It is a vital part of being human. It is NOT something we can avoid.  So many sexual health problems and chemical use problems are associated with avoiding this powerful sexual energy.  For many people Eros creates a type of existential fear. The paradox of embracing Eros can seem confusing and scary. Rather than run from Eros, using the strategies to cope with existential fear (page 26), and embracing our erotic energy can lead to amazing possibilities. A goal of this workbook is to help you embrace this powerful energy.

I also see desire as a teacher.  Desire is a fundamental yearning that shapes our life.  Previously I talked about payoffs mentioning the concepts of goals, needs, wants.  Beneath these goals, needs, and wants is desire. It is often slippery and hard to understand so we focus on the general language of goals/needs/wants.  Too often, our society condemns desire.  I think this is a mistake. Using the concepts of mindfulness and transference, it is possible to discover amazing things about our desire.  It is even possible to use desire to understand what is sacred in our life.  To see sexuality as a vehicle toward sacredness is a difficult concept to consider in the puritan society in which we live.  Recovery will require us to sit in our desire (i.e., meditation) allowing us to understand some of the most profound aspects of our sexuality. The implicit assumption in a positive sexuality is that Eros and desire are good, powerful, and transformative!

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