Saturday, November 24, 2007

Exercise 2: Completing a Sex History.

A natural progression from talking about sex is the exercise of talking about your sex history. As you begin the process of addressing sexual compulsivity, it is important to accurately describe your past sexual behavior. You cannot treat that which is not identified. The assignment is to complete the questions as thoroughly as possible. I often suggest that see this document as a "living document" which means it might be helpful to periodically return to the assignment and add material as you remember pieces of your history.

As you work through the sex history, it is important to be as honest and thorough as possible. At first, you may not want to put everything on paper or answer honestly because of what others might think. However, when you are open and honest, in the long run, you have a better sense of what needs to be dealt with in your treatment process.

When you have completed the inventory, please share the responses with another person. At this time, it not recommended to disclose this information to your primary partner (that disclosure will happen near the end of stage 2 and the beginning of stage 3). It is also recommended that the persons with whom you disclose the information be trustworthy and non-judgmental. Typically these individuals are therapists, sponsors, or members of a group process.

1) At what age did you first masturbate?
2) How did you learn about masturbation?
3) What messages did you hear about masturbation while growing up?
4) What were your beliefs and feelings about masturbation while growing up?
5) What are your beliefs about masturbating today?
6) How often do you masturbate currently?
7) When was the last time you masturbated?
8) What thoughts did you have when you last masturbated?
9) Where have you masturbated besides in your home? Describe the circumstances.
10) When you masturbate, what objects have you used to enhance your level of sexual arousal (e.g. items of clothing, vibrators, magazines, “sexual toys”, items to inflict pain). Describe the items and when you began to use them for sexual stimulation.

1) Describe your three most arousing current sexual fantasies?
a. How do you feel about these fantasies?
2) What messages and beliefs did you hear about fantasy?
3) What beliefs do you have about fantasy today?
4) Have you ever masturbated to sexual fantasies of rape? If so, describe the fantasy (including your relationship to the victim, the frequency of the fantasy, and the length of time since the last rape fantasy).

Sexual Behavior
1) At what age did you first have sexual intercourse?
2) How old was your partner?
3) How did you feel about the experience?
4) How many sexual partners have you had?
a. Fill out a table including each partner to the best of your ability. For example

Your age

Partners Age

Type of Sexual Contact

Length of Relationship



Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex

Dated for 12 months



Vaginal Sex

1 encounter

b. If the number of partners is too high to count, complete the table by examining periods of your life and estimating the number of contacts. Pick periods that make sense to you. For example,
i. Upto Age 14 (pre-adolescence), number of partners______
ii. Age 15-18, Number of partners _________
iii. College, age 19-24, Number of partners ________
iv. First Job, Number of partners ________
v. First Relationship Number of partners ________
vi. Divorce and/or end of first relationship, Number of partners ________
vii. Lived at a particularly address, city, Number of partners ________
c. Describe what behaviors occurred (be explicit and thorough)
(for example, anal sex, vaginal sex, mutual masturbation, kissing, touching, etc)
d. What was the length of the relationship?
(one night stand, casual, dating a few months or longer relationship, partnership,
e. What percentage would you estimate were “one night stands”?
f. How many sexual partners have you had of the same sex as yourself?
i. How did you feel about it then
ii. How do you feel about it now?
g. How many of these sexual encounters occurred while using drugs and/or alcohol? Describe the circumstances.
5) How many times have you had a sexual affair while you were married or while in a committed relationship with someone? Describe the circumstances.
6) Describe the nature of any sexual contacts or behaviors between members of your family.

Dating Behavior
1) At what age did you begin to date or go out with girls/boys your own age?
2) Describe your level of self confidence regarding dating.
3) How comfortable did you feel?
4) Did you think you were attractive to girls/boys?
5) Did your self esteem improve or decrease as you dated more frequently?

Other patterns of sexual behavior
1) How many times have you paid money for sex or traded drugs for sex?
2) If you used prostitutes in the past, describe the types of sexual activities you engaged in.
3) Have you engaged in prostitution yourself?
4) How many times have you had sexual touch with an animal? Describe the circumstances.
5) How many times have you exposed your genitals to someone you did not know or to someone without their consent? Describe the circumstances.
6) How many times have you spied or peeked at someone in order to see if they are undressing or being sexual? Describe the circumstances.
7) Describe the types of sexual magazines and sexual movies you view for sexual stimulation.
8) How many times have you used threats of violence, physical force, or any weapon to make someone perform a sexual act (other than during your current offense)? Describe the circumstances.
9) How many times have you participated in consensual use of restraints or bondage? Describe the circumstances.
10) How many times have you ever participated in group sex? Describe the circumstances.
11) What other alternative or kinky behaviors might you have participated in?

1) How many times have you made sexual phone calls or used a 1-900 sex line? Describe the circumstances.
2) How many times have you used the internet to meet sexual partners? Describe the circumstances.
3) How many times have you used the internet for “virtual” sex.
4) How many times have you searched the internet for pornography or pictures? Describe the circumstances.
5) How many pictures/videos have you downloaded?
6) Have you downloaded pictures of explicit child sexual material? If so, describe the circumstances.

Health Concerns
1) What physical problems have you experienced which effect your ability to be sexual (such as difficulties achieving or maintaining erections, difficulties having orgasms, a lack of interest in sex, difficulties in delaying ejaculation)? Describe the circumstances.
2) Describe the sexually transmitted illnesses you have had. Describe the circumstances how this illness was transmitted.

1) When were you ever sexually touched or forced to engage in sexual behavior against your will as a child? Describe the circumstances.
2) When were you ever sexually touched or forced to engage in sexual behavior against your will as an adult? Describe the circumstances.

1) Describe any sexual contact you have had with children while you have been an adult.
2) Describe the content of sexually explicit pictures of children you have seen or possessed. How often have you viewed these pictures?
3) Have you masturbated to fantasies of children? If so, describe the details.

1) Describe any legal consequences of your sexual behavior.
2) Describe the frequency of legal consequences.

1) Describe any sexual behaviors or practices which were not addressed in the above questions. 2) Which three questions above which were the most difficult to answer.
a. Why did you select these three questions
b. What made them so difficult to answer?

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