Monday, April 26, 2010

Integrity and Sexual Health

Integrity (Merriam-Webster): The quality or state of being complete or undivided.

One of my major goals in fostering sexual health is to help individuals move toward integrity in the realm of sexuality. A number of important characteristics are identifiable by a person living in integrity.

1) HONESTY. You speak what you mean and you mean what you speak. In other words, if you relapse or act out, you're honest about what happened. Everyone who needs to know, knows. In terms of your sex history/timeline, everything is on the table.

2) COMPELTE. When something happens, you are completely thorough about what occurred. You actively volunteer all information versus playing a cat and mouse game about not disclosing information. Remember, your support network is on YOUR side; it isn’t a game of gothca!

3) ASSERTIVE. Ultimately, integrity requires you to speak your opinion and beliefs. If your partner, support network, group or even your therapist wants you to do something, but you don’t want to, the key is to say so and be assertive in your communication. As you finish your personal definition of sexual health, it reflects YOUR needs, wants and desires communicated to your support network.

4) BALANCE. On a philosophical level, I believe integrity reflects balance. If something feels out of wack, say so. When you ride a bicycle, for example, you know when you are in balance. The same is true for integrity. You know when you are in balance in the realm of sexuality.

5) COMMITMENT. The classic saying, “When you fall off a horse, get back on.” applies to this characteristic. Are you willing to continue doing the work when a problem occurs?

6) ENDURANCE. The going will be tough; it will require energy to keep going when you feel like giving up. When in conflict, a desire to run away is normal but endurance requires us to stay in the conversation even when anxious or fearful.

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1 comment:

  1. Hi,All
    Very nice blog,
    Sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well being related to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity.