It’s not about the sex.

I was asked if someone could/would engage in cybersex behaviors without actually meeting a partner in real time/face to face as Rep. Weiner acknowledged. The short answer is, “yes.” The reason is that the cybersex behavior isn’t always about the sex. Why do it then? To that question, there is no easy answer. Below is a list of other reasons that people might use to engage in cybersex behaviors.

1) Boredom
2) Loneliness
3) Fear of cheating
4) Shame
5) Jealousy
6) I didn’t cheat since I didn’t meet
7) It’s a break from the hard work of the day.
8) Horny
9) My partner isn’t around
10) It’s just a fantasy, it’s not real.
11) No one will find out.
12) Excitement

One of the tasks in treatment is to figure out the deeper motives that shape an individual’s behavior. It is a process of discernment and discovery. In the workbook, we highlight 3 groups of reasons: thinking errors, feeling triggers, and high risk situations. Each then becomes a source to intervene in the cybersex beahviors.