Sunday, October 2, 2011

Intimacy Wheel of Life

Today I worked with a tool labeled “The Wheel of Life.” It is essentially a pie chart that has a number of content areas such as financial, relationship, work, recreation, etc. The questions to ponder are about helping any one of us move a good life to a great life. After reviewing the Wheel of Life, I immediately thought of two additional versions/adaptions. First, I thought of the Sexual Health Wheel. I’ll save that idea for a future blog. The other one was the Intimacy Wheel. Here are the 12 types of intimacy based on a model I like.

1. Recreational intimacy (sharing fun, hobbies, recreation; leisure; refills my wells of energy)

2. Intellectual intimacy (sharing the world of ideas; a genuine touching of persons based on mutual respect for each other’s minds; e.g., reading, discussing, studying, learning)

3. Work intimacy (sharing common tasks, supporting each other in bearing responsibilities
e.g., raising family, house, yard chores)

4. Commitment intimacy (togetherness derived from dedication to a common cause; values; e.g., Working together for a political cause)

5. Aesthetic intimacy (sharing experiences of beauty; e.g., music, nature, art, theater)

6. Communication intimacy (being honest, trusting, truthful, loving; giving constructive feedback)

7. Emotional intimacy (sharing of significant feelings; touching of the innermost selves)

8. Creative intimacy (helping each other to grow, to be co-creators, not “reformers” of each other)

9. Sexual intimacy (sensual emotional satisfaction, experience of sharing and self-abandon in the physical merging of two persons, fantasies & desires)

10. Crisis intimacy (standing together in the major and minor tragedies of life; closeness in pain and

11. Spiritual intimacy (the Awe-ness of sharing intimate concerns, the meanings of life, philosophies and religious experience)

12. Conflict intimacy (standing up with/to each other; facing and struggling with differences together; ”fighting”

Answer the following questions

1) Rank each one on a 1-10 point scale. 1 Means you are not satisfied at all in this area. 10 Means you are completely satisfied in this area of intimacy.
2) As you look at the list, reflect on what you notice.
3) Pick one area that has the biggest energy or attraction for you. This should be the one that will have the biggest impact in your life if it was to improve dramatically. Avoiding picking the one you think you “should” pick, but the one that speaks to you.
4) Think about what would make this area a 10? (If you’re completely satisfied (already a 10), what would make it an 11?)
5) List 2-3 ideas that you could do to bring the 10 closer?
6) What is one of the things (or part of a thing) that you are willing to do this week?

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