Saturday, October 22, 2011

White-knuckling in the area of sex doesn't work.

The human mind is constructed in such a way that when you tell yourself NOT to think about something, it becomes all you think about. For example, I want you to think about your favorite dessert, or meal. Seriously, think about enjoying this dessert. Can you feel your mouth watering simply with the thought of the dessert or meal? Now, tell your self to STOP thinking about the dessert or meal. STOP thinking about it! You can’t. In a similar way, telling yourself you will never have sex or won’t thing about sexuality only reinforces the pattern of thinking about sex. Attempting to avoid addressing sexuality through abstinence or force of will is called white-knuckling. Eventually your level of exhaustion or resentment will overcome the force of will and you will revert to the pattern of unhealthy sexual behavior. Similar to learning how to eat in healthy ways, a person needs to find a way to engage in HEALTHY sexuality.

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