Your plan for sexual health in an electronic world

The last assignment of the up and coming workbook, Cybersex Unplugged is finished. All that remains is the editing. Coming soon!

Our final assignment is also about integration. Given the continuing care plan, it is also important to assess the specific internet behaviors that contribute to acting out situations, or otherwise cross personal boundaries. There are many variations of this assignment that follows. One way to complete this assignment is to create three circles where you address the following:
1) Inner Circle are Acceptable behaviors
These behaviors are any internet behaviors that are healthy in your world. The difficulty is that many individuals want us to tell them the answers to this question, but the key is that you have to define these. Others might provide feedback and suggestions, but in the end you MUST clarify and determine what are acceptable behaviors in YOUR world.
2) Middle Circle are Cautious behaviors
These behaviors often have a “depends” linked to them. Sometimes the same behavior at work is acceptable, but at home is unacceptable (or vice versa). Anything you can’t clarify as healthy/unhealthy, needs to go here. You might be able to use the “depends” to gain further insight into risk factors in your life. As appropriate, clarify the depends component of these behaviors as much as possible. One example was a client who could surf the internet at home until 9 pm. At 9 pm, he started to tired and moved into the trance often associated with compulsive online behaviors. Surfing the internet until 9 was cautious, because he had to make sure his plans were in place to prevent ongoing surfing after 9 pm.
3) Outer Circles are Unacceptable behaviors.
These are behaviors that you have determined are unhealthy in any and all cases. For some people, any explicit sexual online behavior at work is unhealthy. Surfing for porn or engaging in sexual chat conversations may fit here. Certain types of websites might fit here. The key is that YOU must agree to any behaviors that are defined as unacceptable.
Behaviors to consider include the following. It is also important to link these behaviors to any qualifiers.
• What devices can you use to access the internet (think computers, smart phones, iPads, etc.).
• How frequently can you use the internet? Can you use it for sexual content? Where can you access the internet (work, home, friends, relatives)?
• Who is with you, as appropriate?
• What types of websites are acceptable? Think typical web sites such as banks, but also a typical hookup site?
• What types of online sexual activity could be explored online,(e.g., certain ethnicities, feet, animals, diapers…)?
• Identify if engaging in sexually charged chat, online relationships, virtual sex, exhibitionism or voyeurism online?
• What email accounts can you use?
• Using the internet to arrange real-time hook ups.
• Posting online erotic or sexual pictures/videos of yourself or others (including via webcam).
• Masturbating to online sexual materials or activities?
• Have you ever used a sex toy that connects to your computer while online?
• What other sexual activities have you engaged while online that would be important to review?